Why Did Dax Shepard Masturbate In His Car? No Time To Do It Elsewhere, Of Course

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I freaking love Dax Shepard and his wife Kristen Bell. They are two of the funniest and nicest people on the planet. So funny, the minute I see either of them have done a new TV interview, I’m on that video like white on rice.

The latest interview from either of this fabulous couple is one Dax Shepard did with Jimmy Kimmel this week, where he not only talked about a family trip to Cuba where Kristen, being the lovely person she is, gave away all her kids’ toys and clothes, but also about himself masturbating while driving on Laurel Canyon.

Yep. Dax Shepard masturbated in his car.

Of course, this being the weird and wonderful Dax Shepard, it’s not just him sitting in his car masturbating because he felt like it, but instead him doing it because…well, he was a bit pressed for time.

And why was he masturbating…in his car or otherwise?

Because after Kristen thought she might be pregnant and then it turned out to be a false alarm, Dax had a vasectomy.

But, like all vasectomies, about three weeks after he had it done, he had to take a semen sample into the clinic so they could test it to make sure the procedure had worked.

And, yes, he had to take a sample in as the clinic did not provide an area where he could ‘service himself’, as Dax so nicely put it.

But, as the semen has to be a fresh sample, that meant Dax had to ‘provide one’ less than two hours before his appointment. So what did that mean?

Well, poor Dax got stuck in a meeting with the heads of Warner Bros. and couldn’t leave with enough time to go to a nice private place to “procure” his semen sample.

As Dax explained, “All of a sudden, I’m out of the meeting, and I have 15 minutes to get from Burbank to Beverly Hills and to procure my sample. This is the God’s truth. I had to drive across town, rush hour, thank God there was heavy traffic on Laurel Canyon, so it slowed down enough that I could…”

And, yep, he masturbated into a Mason jar on “one of the twistier roads in America”. But the good news? He’s sterile.

Watch Dax Shepard talking about masturbating into a Mason jar while driving on Laurel Canyon in rush hour traffic in the video below.

As usual, he is fabulous.