Games

Tynon: UCool Boys — Those Boobs Won’t Stay in That Harness

June 15, 2013
Michelle Topham


As a female gamer, when I play many games I realize quickly many male game developers really have little clue about the female anatomy. From impossibly thin women with enormous-sized boobs to women wearing ridiculous outfits that wouldn’t keep said massive breasts contained for more than three seconds, you really do have to laugh. I howled today, though, when I saw the latest ad for ‘Tynon’, an upcoming fantasy online game – an ad that features nothing much more than a huge pair of boobs covered with a couple of red straps.

Now, as a woman who is reasonably endowed, I can tell you if I was to wear the type of outfit the woman on the Tynon ads is wearing, not only would one slight move dislodge the straps covering my nipples but the strap would then shoot up and my boobs would go down. Result? Two completely naked breasts with a strap around my neck……. strangling me.

What’s even funnier about this truly terrible Tynon ad design is, I’m presuming, the character wearing the red straps is also supposed to be a warrior or a swords woman?



If so, would the developers of Tynon, a new company called uCool Inc, please explain to me how, in all that is holy, is a woman wearing two red leather straps and nothing else supposed to fight in a sword fight with her naked breasts untethered and bouncing around as she’s slowly being throttled by straps?

uCool? No. You’re really not. You’re pre-pubescent boys with an image of women that doesn’t exist. In fact, it leaves me wondering have any of these people ever been anywhere near a woman naked? I’d have to say, I have my doubts.

Meanwhile, Tynon’s ads are all over the internet. Go oggle if you like.

As for Tynon the game, I’ve heard it’s incredibly good. But, supporting a company that sees women like this? Nah, not really my cup of tea. Sorry…….boys.

Michelle Topham
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