The first Sonic The Hedgehog trailer has been released, and it’s a two and a half minute look at a Sonic no video game fan is even going to recognize. Because, not only does Sonic have weird human teeth, separate eyes and a weird nose and mouth, he also has legs that are too long, fur (WTF?) and literally looks like a person in a cheap acrylic plush suit.
(Now you try getting that image of a plushophile out of your head. Bet you can’t!)
Horrendously terrible, in other words.
But what is even weirder than the new Sonic, if that is even remotely possible, is why Coolio’s ‘Gangsta Paradise’ is the song someone at Paramount chose as the background music for the trailer?
A song about a guy who is a gang leader, and is stuck in a life of crime, violence and no hope, and who rails on society for his lack of a decent education or role models.
And a movie about a blue hedgehog who can run really fast, and who is co-opted by a small town sheriff to defeat Dr. ‘Eggman’ Robotnik.
I’m not seeing the remotest of connections. How about you?
Watch the truly abysmal Sonic The Hedgehog movie trailer below, a movie that looks like it was made in the 1990s, and try to rip that image of Sonic out of your brain.
Then mark your calendar under “Things Not To Waste Your Money On” for November.
Because even Jim Carrey won’t be able to save this steaming pile of hedgehog droppings.
Sonic The Hedgehog stars Jim Carrey (poor Jim!), James Marsden, Adam Pally, Tika Sumpter, Neal McDonough and the voice of Ben Schwartz as Sonic. A career low for every member of the cast, I would have to say.